Top 10 reasons to hate top 10 lists

  1. They are everywhere and they are annoying. Surely? Surely someone else is annoyed by them? Ahhh lovely internet, 5,140 hits for “top 10 lists suck”.
  2. It’s depressing that humanity’s attention span is now so short that most article writers seem to have to bribe people with the promise of there only being 10 sentences for them to have to read. So much brevity in their writing makes it, well, even more tasteless and trite than normal.
  3. It’s destroying the sexiness of numbers. And numbered lists. <ol> is nearly ruined for me.
  4. They’re nearly always subjective opinions given as the gospel truth, and goodness knows how many impressionable young minds there are out there scurrying around clicking on them. Think of the children, people!
  5. I usually get bored at number 5. This is sad because I only ever bother reading them when I’m bored in the hope that they’ll make me slightly less bored. It’s a sort of sadistic spiral of brief optimism, even briefer interest, a flare of irritation, a moment of distraction where I try to count the typos, and then I sink into an even deeper pit of boredom.
  6. Based on this I’m going to guess that most people don’t bother reading any further than 6.
  7. What do you think it is about cats that makes them like to sit in flower pots?
  8. Cat in pot
  9. Yeah, she’s got the right idea. Find your flowerpot, sit in it, and then don’t move for anyone, that’s my advice to all you avid readers of top 10 lists dissing top 10 lists. And no, there isn’t actually going to be a #10.

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