Quick note to remind myself I was exhibiting at these two shows recently and I should really get a move on finishing my portfolio.
I don’t think that very many students would be wishing they would never end… Now I’ve got the module which makes me angry out of the way (project management) I can sit back and enjoy the ride.
And it sucks, but never mind. I used to love 3d, I’m not too sure where it went wrong there. I think 3d is going to be my weakest module this year (ie, the one which I drop) in a crazy turnaround from last year where I’m pretty sure it was my strongest. I don’t think it’s quite clicked yet that that was the last ever assignment and there’ll never be any more. Oh I hate inelegant sentences like that (with “that that”). It’s weird how we contract it when we say it though – “th’t that”. It’s probably incorrect but whatever, I’m too tired to care. And why am I tired? Because my irresponsible good for nothing housemate had me up all night watching battlestar galactica AGAIN, and Rob if you’re reading this stop it and get back to your bloody revision.
Why do they ruin perfectly good delicious mushroom risottos by putting chicken in it? Microwaved chicken is a sin against god and should not exist on this earth.
Continues to not go well. The phrase “social sciences” makes me want to rip my own eyeballs out whenever I read it. I got exactly two paragraphs into some notes on project management and although I managed the first paragraph which talked about the ridiculous “scientific” conditions they conducted their precious little “experiments” under, it was finally the use of the word “astonishing” in describing the findings of the Hawthorne studies that made me punch the wall and hurt my wrist. Excuse the melodrama!! And the excessive exclamation marks!!! I can’t go on without venting!!!!!!!
Why does this stuff even exist. I am so not cut out to be a manager. It’s making me almost wince, the thought of having to spend hours and hours getting to know this material better.
It turns out I celebrate handing in my dissertation by boisterously throwing up all night.
I can’t tell if it’s because I hadn’t slept in 48 hours and even then I had been running on 4 hours of fitful napping, or if it was not eating anything then drinking a lot or whether the nandos I had really was dodgy. Ugh what an awful night though (apart from my lovely friends of course).
I feel very weird now it’s handed in. Bit scared of looking at it again in case I find some of the unedited yak I forgot to take out. But yes, hurrah, it’s over now apart from the presentation and stuff. Oh my god I wish I hadn’t included the rough pdf version of the project too. Why why why did I think that was a good idea?
It’s funny to think almost certainly every single person on the course will be awake right now, frantically working away.
Part of me is constantly delighted by discovering things like Umberto Eco’s essay “Opera Aperta” in the context of my artistic project based on the Impressionists under some of my research on art using new technology (I have long suspected that all the really cool talented people are somehow interconnected), and part of me is grabbing my brain and ramming it about my skull trying to extract one last drop of coherent writing from it and thinking “oh god let it please be over soon”. At the moment I’m on an upside, hurrah!
3am: My god, all of these authors reference each other. Nearly every single one mentions the other at least once in one of their books. I’m not really sure why I’m surprised by that as it should have become obvious to me by now that digital interactive art is an elite little nook that not many seem to know about, but still.
9.30am: Ack I seem to have 20 000 words instead of 10 000 in my report. How did this happen? Gah. Let the process of shoving as much as possible into appendices begin!
11:17am: When all this is over I intend to retire from society, a shattered broken woman. I shall be vague and delicate and whimper whenever I see particularly ugly things. Especially ugly colour combinations and bad typography; I feel very sensitive to them. And wistfulness, I shall cultivate wistfulness and a tragic air, and I shall be absent minded and forget what year it is and drink whisky from crystal decanters. Or maybe in fact I’ll make my millions by selling toasters to the masses and retire to a tropical beach to live my life surrounded by beautiful bronzed young men. They can fan me and bring me cold drinks and listen to me as I ramble on about complete rubbish like the inherent similarities between delicious strawberry sponge cakes and the current political climate.
Is it an idiotic idea to add a seperate framed portrait painting to encompass Cezanne’s long grey beard in the artist profiles bit of my documentation (at the moment they are all headshots, but a seperate painting could very easily go underneath Cezanne’s head for his beard!), or is it the best idea I’ve ever had and one of great genius whose like we shall never see again? I think writing for the past 4 days solid has either driven me insane or brought out the da Vinci in me. Or both!
Oh also, I love writing evaluations
Edit 3 hours later: I hate writing evaluations
Edit many many hours later: No really. And another thing :
“temporarily collapsing boundaries between subject and object, interior and exterior, self and world – in order to facilitate a refreshing change of perception, thereby potentially resensitizing participants to the extraordinariness of being alive, sentient, and embodied, here now, among all this, briefly immersed in the flow of life through space and time.”
Who would have thought it was possible to use 8 commas in a block of text like that without the idea of anything so frivolous as, oh, I don’t know, a full stop maybe springing to mind. Man. (Not my writing by the way, it’s in one of the books I’m trying to decipher). My poor beautiful english, raped by pompous academics 🙁
Curiously it is only when there are 3 days to go before the hand in of my dissertation that I actually figure out exactly what it’s really about.