So maybe the body corporate of apartment blocks and the flat and house owners of the world would like to tell me what it is they have against pets? The body corporate on the apartment I want to rent have just told me that they do not allow any pets at all. Does this include goldfish and hamsters? Yes. Does this include my pet caterpillar ? Yes. Does this include the tiny spider I’ve accidentally brought in on my shoe? Yes. It’s odd. Inexplicable. Do they do full body searches checking to make sure you aren’t attempting to smuggle any ants in to the complex whenever you enter? Probably, going by the way they carry on.

It’s strange and unreasonable. If you have a guinea pig and you keep it indoors and there is absolutely no way anybody will know about it or it will disturb anybody then what on earth is the problem? So, ok, my cat isn’t quite a guinea pig but she’s one step up from one, she’s an indoor cat who just sleeps all the time. If it was the owner objecting to the cat then I could understand it – perhaps they are worried about damage to the carpet (keep in mind the flat is unfurnished). In which case I would offer to pay a pet deposit, whatever they like, because I know she doesn’t scratch the carpets. I don’t see what kind of reasonable person could object to this unless they actually fundamentally enjoy pissing people off. I kind of want to say it’s aggravated by the white South African Oh-God-Everybody-Is-Out-To-Steal-My-Stuff-Quick-Let’s-Erect-A-Portable-Fort-To-Move-Around-In mentality (which in its turn of course is caused by the high crime rates, which in turn is caused by the terrible inequality and poverty in this country so, huh, looks like everything comes down to the bloody economy again and SA’s sad history), but I’ve encountered similar problems in London.

So I think we’ve got to the bottom of it now actually: body corporates are sadists.